Planting

Brussels Sprouts

Planting Time Brussels sprouts thrive in cool weather and act like a grumpy uncle who refuses to work when it gets hot. Plant in early spring or late summer so they mature as the weather turns chilly. If you plant these little green knucklebails in scorching heat, they’ll stall out like a tractor running on pancake syrup.

Depth & Spacing Plant seeds one-half inch deep and space plants about eighteen to twenty-four inches apart. Give ’em room or they’ll wrestle for elbow space like two cowboys fighting over the last fried pork chop at the potluck. Rows should be spaced about two to three feet apart so the wind can whistle through without knocking ’em over.

Soil & Fertilization Brussels sprouts love rich, well-drained soil—think of it like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Mix in compost and fertilizer before planting. They’re heavy feeders, so top-dress with nitrogen during the season. Don’t go overboard or you’ll grow leaves big enough to shade a pickup truck while the sprouts work on bragging.

Watering Needs Keep soil evenly moist. If the dirt dries out so much it cracks like a cowboy’s lips at a January rodeo, your sprouts will turn bitter. Try for deep, steady watering so the roots grow strong. These plants don’t like soggy feet, so don’t drown them like you’re baptizing them twice.

Sunlight Requirements Full sun is best—at least six hours a day. Too little light and your sprouts will grow slower than Uncle Billy leaving a tip. Give ’em a spot where they can soak up the sunshine, the plants stay sturdy, upright, and packed with tight little sprouts ready for the dinner plate.

Harvesting Sprouts mature from the bottom of the stalk upward. Harvest them when they’re about one inch across, roughly the size of that jawbreaker candy you haven’t seen since you were a kid. Twist each sprout off firmly. A light frost sweetens them, making them taste less like childhood punishment and more like something you seek on purpose.

Captain Greenhouse Tip If your Brussels sprouts start leaning like a cowboy after two cups of gas-station coffee, stake ’em up before they snap off or their budding cows down the pasture. For the sweetest sprouts, wait for a touch of frost—Mother Nature gives them a flavor boost that’ll make you strut around the garden like you just won the chili cook-off.